100 PERCENT | Manuscript-in-progress
The notion of French actress, Fanny Ardant, being “the last great love” of François Truffaut is one that captured my youthful imagination before I’d ever been in love myself. It has stayed with me through the years, as has the idea of writing a fractal, but instead of geometric patterns which repeat and repeat, I wanted to create a formal style that fractalized writing. When the second woman I loved asked me what my definition of love was, I didn’t have an answer for her, but I thought back on all the books I’d read (or tried to read) about the quest for love and the struggle for knowledge, and I knew that a new project had been born. “100 Percent” is an attempt to define love using all of that research from great minds like Thomas Merton, bell hooks and Ortega Y. Gasset to the movies of Fanny Ardant herself and Showtime’s The L Word. Like in chaos theory, each section uses similar language and concepts to approach an ideal definition of love. I devised a pattern of words, phrases and ideas that are repeated throughout each twenty sentence fractal.
To hear older versions of the first two fractals, go here.
A long lyric nonfiction essay that begins with the questions: “What is my story? What is my life concept?” As a Korean adoptee, I don’t know my original frame, but I know I need a different one to go forward in life. As a writer and an artist, how does one surrender all control, all sense of self or artifice, without becoming lost? Through researching grief and trauma psychology, child psychology and the trope of the lost or abandoned child, dialogical self theory and fairy tales I hope to come to new revelations about my personal experiences in relation to myth, reality and the concrete, all held within the metaphor of the red frame.
To read the first essay in Waxwing, go here.